1. Embrace the space
Some couples feel like they have to compensate for the distance by being in constant communication with one another. Live your life and give your partner the space to live theirs. You’ll have more to talk about when you do talk and it will make your communication more meaningful.
2. Be clear about your expectations
What seems obvious to you may not be obvious to your partner. Set ground rules about your expectations as far as communication, commitment, and visiting one another to avoid potential arguments.
3. Proceed with a goal
Before embarking on a long-distance relationship, be clear about what you hope to achieve. Is the eventual goal to live closer together? Is there a time limit to the long-distance aspect of your relationship? Being clear about these goals will help your relationship succeed.
4. Always say good morning and goodnight
Getting those regular texts or phone calls will help you feel connected to one another, especially if you are in different time zones.
5. Get creative!
If you usually text, send the occasional video, or card by mail. Varying your methods of communication will make your partner feel special and thought of.
6. Build up your other relationships
It’s important not to put too much pressure on your partner to be your only source of support and love. Use the freedom that a long-distance relationship allows to strengthen your bonds with your friends and family so that you don’t feel so lonely, even if your partner is miles away.
7. Enjoy your alone time
Having a long-distance relationship provides a unique opportunity to build up a robust personal relationship with yourself. Pursue your hobbies and be adventurous about doing things on your own. It will give you and your partner more to talk about and make you a more secure and well-rounded person.
8. Find a messaging app that works for you
There are dozens, if not hundreds of messaging apps available on the market. Find the one that works best for you and your partner and use it to your advantage.
9. Use snail mail
It’s great that technology allows us to stay in daily communication with one another, but good old-fashioned snail mail adds an element of fun and romance to your relationship. Send postcards, letters, and gifts often to keep things interesting.
10. Video call often
Text and voice are great, but there’s nothing like being able to see your significant other’s expressions when they’re talking to you.
11. Do things together
To foster a sense of connection, play online games together or video chat while you’re watching a movie or going for a walk. Shared experiences increase closeness and intimacy.
12. Share a calendar
Make an online calendar with both your schedules on it so that you can see what the other person is up to and stay up-to-date with their life. Knowing when they have important events or busier days is essential to feeling connected.
In-person visits are the highlight of any long-distance relationship. Plan them together, build up the anticipation, and do it as often as possible. Depending on your significant other’s preferences, consider a surprise visit to keep things spontaneous!
14. Use social media to your advantage
Share pictures with each other. Tag each other in posts. Let your partner know you’re thinking about them when you’re online so that you’re not just posting what a great time you’re having without them.
15. Give a special gift
Give your significant other a talisman they can hold onto when they miss you; something that will make them feel close to you like a piece of jewelry they can wear every day, a teddy bear they can squeeze, or a beautifully framed photo collage.
16. Keep each other updated about friends and family
When you talk, don’t just talk about yourself: share details about your friends and family so that your partner feels involved in your life and won’t be out of the loop when they visit in person.
17. Make your partner a priority
Honor your scheduled phone calls and answer when you say you will. Be intentional with your communication and make sure your partner knows they are valued.
18. Be honest
Long-distance relationships are vulnerable to insecurity and the best way to eliminate that is by practicing rigorous honesty. Don’t assume that the distance will hide things from your partner, and don’t make a habit out of lying, because trust is the hardest thing to repair in a relationship.
19. Avoid “dangerous” situations
Be considerate of your partner’s feelings and avoid things that might make them feel insecure, like late-night drinks with an attractive coworker or spending time with an ex. Don’t put yourself in situations where temptations might arise due to feeling physically lonely.
20. Don’t put your life on hold
If you wait until your partner is in the same location to do things you want to do like travel, learn, and try new things, it can build resentment. Pursue the things you want out of life and encourage your partner to do the same; just do your best to make them feel included.
21. Use plenty of verbal assurances
Because your relationship lacks many of the day-to-day actions and physical comforts that other relationships have, be sure to use your words to remind your partner that you love them and your relationship. Tell them that you miss them and want to see them; don’t assume they know.
22. Get comfortable talking about hard things remotely and in person
Many people feel like they can’t discuss important things over the phone but in long-distance relationships, it’s often necessary. Get comfortable addressing conflict both in person and via remote communication and find ways to communicate in a healthy manner.
23. Know the difference between “checking in” and “checking on”
Frequently checking in with your partner is a good thing. Checking on your partner puts them on the defensive and causes conflict. Don’t try to control your partner’s activities or make them feel guilty for living their life.
24. Be generous with your partner’s intentions
Remember that people make mistakes. If your partner forgets to call or neglects to mention an important event, try to be patient and gracious and imagine their intentions are good rather than assuming the worst.
25. Be sexy!
Send each other sexy messages and pictures and work hard to keep the spark alive. Sex is an important part of any romantic relationship, even and especially a long-distance one. Be intentional about letting your partner know you’re attracted to them and that you desire them.
26. Focus on togetherness during your visits
Don’t plan a million activities for when your partner visits. Make time to just be together, whether it’s sitting on the couch watching a movie, having sex, or cooking breakfast together. You will cherish these times together more than you will regret not going to the zoo or out to a bar.
27. Ask for advice
Millions of people throughout the world are in long-distance relationships. Find forums and groups where you can talk to others in the same situation to get ideas and resources for making it work.
28. Do activities your partner doesn’t enjoy
Take advantage of the distance to do things you like to do. This will help you see the positive aspects of a long-distance relationship as well as making you a more well-rounded person.
29. Focus on common interests
Find books, TV shows, movies, and activities that you both enjoy to make you feel close even when you’re not together. It will also give you something exciting to talk about.
30. Talk to other people about your relationship
Sharing your relationship with the people closest to you helps your relationship to feel more real and allows you to keep a healthy perspective on how things are going.
31. Trust that a bad visit doesn’t mean the end of your relationship
It’s natural that you will feel a lot of pressure when you’re finally together in person and that can lead to high expectations and conflict. Remember that growing pains are a normal part of a relationship that can be exacerbated by stress and change and that the important thing is learning from it.
32. Start a journal
Keeping a journal will help you express your emotions in a healthy way and also allow you to work through you to stay accountable to your expectations in a relationship. It is easier to identify toxic patterns when they’ve been written down over a period of time.
33. Only talk when you have something to say
Don’t communicate with your partner out of obligation or boredom. In-person relationships have their fair share of quiet moments; allow your long-distance relationship to have them too.
34. Write down a few details after you talk
Jot down a few notes about things you want to remember from your conversation. Your partner will feel heard and appreciated when you drop threads of it into your conversation later.
35. Share a piece of clothing
Send a piece of clothing, like a t-shirt, back and forth every couple of weeks. When your partner gets it it will smell like you and let them feel close to you.
36. Hide gifts around their home when you visit
When you visit their home, hide notes and gifts throughout the house that will surprise them throughout the time you’re apart.
37. Support each other, even from afar
Remember important events and dates in your partner’s life and let them know you support their pursuits and dreams. Be there for them, even if it’s just virtually, during the tough times.
38. Respect your partner’s time zone
Excepting emergencies, let your partner sleep and function at a normal time for them rather than expecting them to cater to your schedule. Set up a communication schedule that works and then respect your partner’s space and time.
39. Respect your partner’s space
No one likes to be constantly inundated with texts and questions. Avoid the temptation to be constantly checking in and choose quality over quantity.
40. Remember the reasons
There’s probably a good reason you’re in a long-distance relationship. Whether it’s for school, work, family, or something else, it’s important to keep that in mind when things are hard.
41. Focus on the positive
Make a list of all the good things about being in a long-distance relationship and reference it often.
42. See it as an opportunity
Remember that being in a long-distance relationship will only strengthen your bond and communication. See this temporary situation as an opportunity to build a better relationship and go forward with love and success!